Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... He waits.

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Under Chuck Norris's beard is not a chin but another fist.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continum.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick his head through a wall and take it.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.

What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

 My Guestbook (311) Members only 

  • Kryst@!C!3@r101

    Omg! I hate this CLUB!!!!
    Noobs!!!!!! @ this site!

     
  • Ninjaemosaregay

    Chuck Norris doesn't take a shower the shower takes him

     
  • LAZRtag

    Chuck Norris does not wear a bobba. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

     
  • LAZRtag

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.

     
  • Jukeblox

    Chuck Norris doesn't read a book... he stares at it until it gives him the information he wants.

     
  • Kryst@!C!3@r101

    CHUCK NORRIS RULES!!!!!!!!! =]

     
  • KingPlat

    CA, look, CHUCK NORRIS, GOT BEAT BY BRUCE LEE,
    N RETURN OF THE DRAGON,
    SO STFU, ABOUT CHUCk NORRIS

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, Two seconds till. After you ask, two seconds till what? he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four , in 3 moves.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Chuck Norris likes his ice how he likes his skulls, crushed.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    He who laughs last , laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris...dies.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Got 1 , There are no such things as weapons of mass destruction in Iraq , Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

     
  • DJCalvinny

    Damn , didn't see u already had tht.

     

 Group info 

Chuck Norris

Group created: Jan 16, 2008

269 members

We love Chuck Norris. He completes us.
amazing awesome beard chuck chuck norris fighting hero kick kicks love norris roundhouse roundhouse kick roundhouse kicks superhero

 Members of the group (269) 


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